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A Day In The Life : The Amazing Tales Of The Service Dog Project


♪♪ Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a ……
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream

Early this morning, while using a computer terminal in the local library, I read a very interesting and yet somewhat jumbled and confusing article from a past Doggie Daily. While intensely deciphering the information, someone bumped into me exceedingly hard and at that exact moment a very inspirational word, “Caboose,” jumped out of the text of the Doggie Daily story. The word “Caboose” was the catapult that sent me running to the local Passenger Train Service employment center. I completed my job application, was interviewed by the personnel staff, and within an hour, I was a certified railroad conductor on my way on Engine #9 heading from Chicago to the metropolis of Ipswich, MA. Our train arrived in Ipswich seemingly in just a few hours. When I opened the passenger compartment door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Eagerly ready to enter: lined up in precision military formation, were around fifty Great Danes of various ages and sizes. 

After making the customary announcement, “All Aboard” I motioned for the dogs to enter, and other than losing my sack-lunch to one of them who snatched it and wolfed it down in less than a second, and being mistaken for a fire hydrant by another, the boarding was uneventful.  The only group yet to come aboard were two ladies, completely surrounded by seven pups wearing Ray-ban sunglasses. One of the DASHing young pups was apparently in charge of the older woman’s security escort. After a brief delay caused by the dogs’ insuring proper security of the area, they all boarded. When I was about to collect the fare from the older woman seemingly in charge, she flashes me a 3” x 6” plastic embossed-card indicating she and her entire party represented the Service Dog Project and would be riding for free today. No problem for me, I’m not paid a commission, but now I must admit, I was hoping for a significantly large tip upon arrival at our destination. 

The trip back to Chicago went smoothly; I don’t recall much of anything actually out of the ordinary. I do remember however how overly cold it was for April, as all the windows were wide open, and every dog was sticking their head out to see the sights. In a brief conversation with the older lady she told me the dogs were traveling to Chicago in order to acclimate them to extreme stair-climbing training. Her plan was for each dog to climb up and down the stairs of Willis Tower (formerly known as Sears Tower). Also, she wanted Oscar, which I noticed as one of the more intelligent and delightful dogs on board, to experience aerobic pole-dancing training to improve his concentration and gait. Upon arrival at Dearborn Station, Chicago, all of the dogs exited quickly, and when the old smiling lady passed me, she handed me a thick pack of evenly-cut 3” x 6” cereal box cardboard used for doggy accident cleanup and said, “Here’s your tip son, get busy with this here cardboard and you’ll keep your job for another day.” I alertly viewed the entire cabin and took a close look at what was left behind; stumbled, fell, and hit my noggin hard on one of the steel seats. Upon fully awakening, I was right here in the Crown Point, Indiana, Public Library and the head librarian was telling me my time for using the computer was expired and this wasn’t the place for napping. It was all a dream…a day in a life…maybe tomorrow I can look for suitable work? I hear that Purina Cat Chow is hiring: after today that might well be purrrrrfect!